Birthdays suck

And it's not for the reason you think. I honestly don't care about getting older. The way I view that is OCD is 12 years older than me, so in my little world, I'll always be a young chick. So, back to my point... birthdays suck. And the reason they suck is that I CANNOT remember other people's birthdays. I can't do it. I've tried. I've written them on the calendar, I've set up Outlook reminders. But it doesn't work for me. Even if I happen to see it on the calendar that morning and think to myself (as any decent friend would), "oh yes it's so-and-so's birthday, I have to call her later"... later will come, and later will go, and I will not have made the phone call. Life just gets in the way and I forget to do it.

The problem is that other people remember MY birthday. Dammit! So then I feel like a totally crappy friend. I mean, everyone else has a life too and yet, somehow they all remember and make time to call or even email. So, my friends, if you love me, please... please forget my birthday. Consider it a favor to me... consider it a birthday present!

The truth about Santa

When kids go to school, they start to learn all kinds of interesting things. Around Christmastime, parents of young public schooled children will hear the inevitable question.... "Is there such thing as Santa?". Now we never wanted to make a big deal out of Santa, but at the same time didn't want to ruin the fun of it either. So my brilliant answer (or my chicken sh!t way of not answering) was "I think that's something you're going to have to figure out for yourself".

Pretty clever, huh?

So the other day, J and I had this conversation:

J: I think I figured out that Santa is just pretend.
T: Really? Why do you think that?
J: Because if it's true, then Santa would be really old and he'd be dead by now.

Seriously... how do you argue with logic like that?

Mom & Dad know best

Yesterday as we were all (me, OCD, and B) sitting in the truck waiting for B's school to open, B noticed OCD was chewing gum. So of course, he asked if he could have some. We tried to tell him that it was hot (it was Big Red). He didn't buy it. He thinks like all children do... that their parents are no good and out to spoil any hint of fun or enjoyment they might encounter in this life. Where kids get this idea is beyond me. Anyway, we still had 10 minutes to wait, which is an eternity when you have a nearly 4 year old begging for something. Now normally we would tough it out. We (read 'I') don't parent by the theory of the path of least resistance. But we thought this might prove to be a good lesson of the lad. So we let him have a piece.

You can just picture the joy on his face as he was handed the stick of gum and brought it up to his lips. Then he happily started chewing, glancing back from his Dad to me. After about 18 seconds, his expression changed. But he was trying soooo hard not to show it. OCD said "is it good?" And B, unable to speak or admit defeat, just nodded in the affirmative. After about a minute, of what we can only imagine to be intense fire in his mouth, OCD wordlessly held out a tissue and B bent over and spit it out.

No one said a word about it, but I think we made our point.

Quest for Invitations in Small Town America

So I mentioned that I was in search of pirate themed invitations for B's birthday party. A little background first... because some of you that have only come to know me in the last year or so likely are unaware of this... I am an invitation snob.

There!
I said it.

It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done to send out "fill-in-the-blank" invites for J's party last year. (ick! okay... deep breath) Focus! Back to my point...

So, B is very much into pirates. Seriously, he'll be 4, this is NOT unusual. It simply does not occur to me to think that the task before me is a difficult one.

My first stop was the local (aka "only") party supply store. I am happy to find an assortment of pirate theme party items, like hats, banners, loot bags, horns, table decorations, etc). But no invites (not even the yucky ones). So I ask the owner what's up. I mean, seriously, you've got everything else... did you just miss that line on the order slip? She says she doesn't carry many invitations because most people just print them up themselves on the computer now. Ah... brilliant!! If only there were a freakin' stationary store in town!! And NO... Hallmark doesn't count!

Stop number 2 - the Hallmark store. Shut up! Because I was right and just had to stop in and prove it. They had nothing helpful.

Stop number 3 - Target (with two kids in tow that I had to bribe with popcorn). I did find some blank card stock, although it was about twice the size as I would like. But I bought it anyway because I was getting seriously desperate.

Stop number 4 - Walmart - just in case... but ICK!

Stop number 5 - the locally owned scrap booking and rubber stamp store. Yes, you heard me and yes I stepped foot inside and lived to tell about it. Upon entering the store I found myself in the center of a stamping Mecca. I milled around in a sort of dazed confusion. After an undetermined amount of time, some kind soul found me wandering aimlessly and asked if I needed help. I began by telling her of my desperate need for pirate invites and that I just might have to make them myself which was terribly troubling seeing how I'm severely craft-challenged. I ended my plea with the hope that she might have some simple stamps of ships or some pirate stickers... but she just looked at me blankly. Actually, I think I may have frightened her.

Stop number 6 - this clever little invention called "The Internet". Thanks Al Gore. (um... that's sarcasm, just in case that didn't translate well). A wonderful little site called vistaprint.com. And I get 20% off my next order. Guess where I'm going for J's birthday in March?

Oh my...

I can't believe I haven't posted in four months! How did that happen? It's not even like we've been seriously busy... just normal life and such. Anyway, here's an update...

OCD - hates his job, seriously, would quit in a heartbeat if he even hit 6 out of 7 numbers in the lottery. Unless you're his boss... I mean, he loves working there.... the people are great... especially at District... those guys ROCK!

Big J - Happily enjoying Kindergarden... then he comes home and is arguementative. I think he'd live at school if I let him. He's taking the session off from swimming. I couldn't get a day and time I liked and wasn't willing to screw up my nicely placed routine. He'll likely be back in for Spring... or as we say in Wisconsin - Winter, the Sequel.

Lil' B - He's an odd child. Sometimes he's so cute you can to kiss and squeeze him. And other times... well, you just want to squeeze him. But he's doing well in school, likes his classes at the Y and has FINALLY learned to put on his own shoes! THERE IS A GOD!!!!

C - learning to drive. He'll probably get his license next month. Still dealing with the controlling nature of his mother. I wonder if she'll ever just let things be? No, actually I don't wonder... I already know the unfortuate answer.

Me - well, as of yesterday, I'm offically closer to 40 than 30. I celebrated by getting my hair dyed and looking for invitations for B's birthday next month. J was super excited to be at Mom's birthday "party", even though a friend had warned him that grown up birthday's are "boring". Other than that, work is ramping up, it is official tax season. I won't be working at Blockheads this year, just for myself which is way better.

So if anyone is still reading the blog... there's the update!

J had his surgery

And he's fine. He was upset about missing school but with all that was going on and it being so early in the morning, he didn't even think about missing breakfast. He was also very upset with me for bringing his Elmo to the hospital. See, that's only for babies and he secretly still sleeps with it, but apparently no one outside of our home is ever supposed to see it and know that it belongs to him. So, needless to say, I was in the doghouse with him for a while. Anyway, he was fine going in the OR, he actually kept saying that the hospital bed was his canoe (because of the bedrails) and as they wheeled him away he was all smiles and waving.

About 35 minutes later, it was a whole different scene. He was bawling and crying for me. As I held him he kept up with this horrific cough that they said was normal because he got alot of air. Anyway, there is no way to describe in words what it sounded like but it's the loudest possible cough any human could make, followed by a peircing scream at the end. Oh, and he did this every 42 seconds.

Then the vomit started. And I had prepared myself for some puke, it's not unheard of. I had not however, prepared myself to witness my child puking blood. I tell B to get the nurse (all the while trying not to panic and freak J out more). She comes rushing over saying "oh, this is good, this is good". WHAT???? Freakin' explain lady!! Apparently, they swallow a good bit of blood during the procedure and it's just sitting there in his belly. Combine that with the anesthetic and the crazy man cough and you have a receipe for blood vomit.

It's about this time that Jacob starts crying out to God. Seriously. As in...
Please God help me feel better!!!!!!

This is where I loose it. I'm a mess and I'm trying to hide it from J so that he doesn't get more upset. But my man is the epitomy of calm, cool, and collected. What does he do? He steps over to us, kneels down and starts to pray out loud for J. And J starts to quiet down so that he can hear him. Amazing. After about 10 minutes J said "I think He heard... I'm starting to feel better". God is so good.

Oh, and all of this happened right in front of the nurses station because that's where our bed was.

J is feeling okay as of now. His neck is very sore and stiff. He can't look up toward the ceiling and even some car movement hurts his neck. They said it's normal and by the end of the week should be much better. Anyway, I've been totally consumed. Please forgive me for not coming on and at lease giving you an update. Thanks for your prayers.

Whatever will I do with my time?!?!?

So I was taking J and B to school the other day. And it occurs to J that Mommy will be all alone. He says, "Mom, when you drop me off and take B to school, what are you going to do by yourself?"

Ahhhhh... a deep smile appears on my face and I say, "Oh, I'll think of something!" What a wonderful thought!