Happy Anniversary!

Eight years! I win!! If you don't know what that means, don't worry about it. Actually, it's kind of pathetic that I even care.

But, Mr. OCD and I have been married for eight years now. He tried to surprise me with a trip to Washington Island. I say "tried" because the fool used his debit card rather than a credit card to reserve the hotel room. Of course, I found out about it the day after he made the reservation. Opps.

It was our first time away from the kids overnight, at the same time. It felt very weird. We found ourselves saying "the boys would sooo love this" a lot. Especially when we spotted a van that someone had painted to look exactly like the Mystery Machine from Scooby Doo.

So, Washington Island. Ever been there? You're not missing much. A few bars and... well, that's it really. The hotel we stayed at was over 100 years old. It was sort of like a B&B. There were six other couples there and many of us found ourselves at this eclectic little place with live music and a half bar. The live music was seven dudes (and I use that term loosly) with various musical instruments. And the bar only served beer. It was sort of like a piano bar... minus the piano, add in a few guitars, a banjo, a bass, and some hand drums. The building itself used to be a general store, so it was just a big open room filled with some old (probably second hand) sofas and chairs. The ceiling was covered in some sort of textured metalic material. The lighting consisted of a variety of rummage sale lamps and random strands of Christmas lights. Now, I make it sound really cheesy, and maybe it was, but it was also a really good time (or maybe that was the beer talking).

After we left there, we headed to a bar with a long history. Actually it's one of the longest running bars in the country. It was even open during Prohibition. They say that they owner got some sort of pharmacy license and distributed "bitters" for whatever ailed you. Of couse, we had to partake. And let me just say... that stuff is NASTY! The funniest part was that they give you your last drink in a plastic cup so you can take it with you. I asked a girl (who happened to be our waitress earlier that night at another location) if the cops hang out and wait for people to leave the bars (like they do here). She just laughed and said, "Oh don't worry, he's asleep."

The night ended with a very drunk me laying on the front lawn of the B&B proclaiming how amazing the stars are when it's 2am and you're on an island in the middle of the Great Lakes. I don't remember much after that.

Dogs are Dumb

Seriously Dumb, with a Capital D! Anything that runs out into the yard, finds the foulest smelling thing, then rolls around in it, is just beyond stupid. Then to do it over and over again. I'm ready to take this hound back to the humane society!

BTW, the stinky thing she rolls in is...

SKUNK SHIT!!!!!

I'm not even joking. There is NOTHING nastier than crap from a freakin' skunk. The sickest part is that we have to clean her, which means touching her. It's not like she has the means to clean herself. And if I take her somewhere and pay them to do it, that means she's getting in my truck. Um, NO WAY! So, I repeat... Dogs are Dumb!!

Painting... again

So we've been here for two years and little by little, we've been working on painting various rooms. But now, we've got to give a little TLC to the exterior. Let me say right now, if you EVER hear me complaining about painting the inside again, you have my permission to bitch slap me.

Drywall and plaster have nothing on cedar siding. The wood is so dry that after the first coat it looks like I used a Crayola water color rather than the solid stain that I chose. We thought we'd be able to get it done before winter set in. We were wrong.

The new plan is to get the one side done (the side with the most sun exposure) and finish the rest late spring, early summer. Good thing you can't see that side from the road.

Oh, and did I mention the weather forecast called for SNOW today?!?!?!? It's OCTOBER!!!! Um... God... maybe you flipped your calendar a little early... maybe you're trying to force us to skip Halloween... maybe you forgot that these two weeks in October are the only reason worth living here... but seriously... can't you please just cut us a break???

I drank the Kool-Aid

If you're not from Wisconsin or Minnesota, you might not even know what I'm talking about, so bear with me.

I watched Monday Night Football.
Alone.
Yes, that's right. Mr. OCD was at work and the kids were sleeping.
And I still watched.

How could I not? It was all anyone was talking about! I'd be some kind of freak if I didn't watch.

But that's not even the scary part.

I cared.
I cared who won. I yelled at the TV. I stood up during plays. And I was genuinely disappointed at the end.

Ugh. I just gave myself shivers thinking about it again.

Why won't they stop talking?!?!?!?!?!?

There's this constant sound, always coming from somewhere below or behind me. At first it's a pleasant sound, one that gives you a warm feeling. But after nine straight hours, it becomes so annoying you want to jump off the roof... head first. I cover my ears, but it seems to get more persistent. I try to hide in the bathroom, but it comes again, with added bass. I squeeze my eyes shut tight, but then I can practically feel the sound. It's pulling my leg, my shirt... it won't let me go.


Trees are good, right?
Right.
They make air for us to breathe, right?
Right.
Then why do we chop them down?
Well... we need trees to make things too... like furniture and paper.
But then we won't be able to breathe and we will die, right?
No, there are alot of trees and new ones get planted all the time, so there's plenty of air for us to breathe.
Is there such thing as real bad guys in this world?
Yes, but you don't need to worry about things like that.
Are they going to get me?
No, Daddy and Mommy will protect you. You're fine.
And the police will keep me safe too?
Yes.
But what if the bad guys get the police?
Bad guys are stupid. And police are smart, so the bad guys won't get the police. Don't worry about. Really... you're safe.
Is everyone allergic to poison ivy?
I think so, but some are more allergic than others.
And it makes you itchy?
Yes.
And that's why we can't go in the tall grass?
Yes.
Is Daddy gonna kill it?
I don't know. I hope so.
With poison?
Yes.
Will he get dead too?
NO! He will wear long pants and gloves and take a shower afterwards. He'll be safe.
Can I help?
No. You have to stay inside and drive me crazy.
But what if the poison gets on Daddy? What will happen?
Ugh. Seriously don't worry about it. Daddy probably won't even do it this year. I've only asked him a hundred times and it still hasn't been done so you really don't have anything to worry about because it'll never happen anyway.
Are you mad?
No. I'm tired.